Àtúnṣe Gíga àti Àbójútó Ìdíwọ̀n
Chapter Objectives
By the end of this chapter, you will be able to:
- Diagnose an error in a Yorùbá text by matrix category — tone, orthography, particles, pronouns, serialization, focus, syntax, or register — rather than labeling it only as "wrong."
- Explain why a given correction is required, using the relevant grammar or orthography rule rather than intuition alone.
- Apply the extended four-pass proofreading procedure from Chapters 3 and 16 to a text written by someone else.
- Distinguish an error from a stylistic choice, and a stylistic weakness from a genuine grammatical error.
- Give peer feedback that names the category of an issue, explains the rule, and suggests a specific revision, without rewriting the author's ideas for them.
- Receive and respond to feedback on your own writing by revising rather than only acknowledging the comment.
- Read a text aloud specifically to test tone and phrasing accuracy as a step in quality control, consolidating pronunciation skills from earlier volumes.
- Prepare a text for publication-level readiness by completing a full editing pass across all matrix categories.
Opening Communication Scenario
Fúnmi's community report from Chapter 16 impressed Adé enough that he has asked her to help proofread other members' newsletter submissions before they go out. Fúnmi realizes quickly that "check it for mistakes" is not a single skill — a wrong tone mark, a missing dot-under letter, a misplaced particle, and an unclear pronoun reference are different kinds of problems, and pointing at a sentence and saying "this sounds off" does not help the writer understand what to change. She needs a method for naming what kind of problem she is looking at, explaining the rule behind it, and suggesting a fix — without simply rewriting someone else's report in her own words.
- This chapter shifts from producing and revising your own writing (Chapter 16) to diagnosing errors in any text — your own or someone else's — by matrix category.
- No new tense, aspect, particle, or clause type is introduced. This chapter organizes and applies systems already consolidated through Chapter 16.
- The Chapter 3 four-pass proofreading procedure, already extended to whole documents in Chapter 16, is now extended further into a shared diagnostic vocabulary for giving and receiving feedback.
Core Vocabulary — Editing and Quality Control
This vocabulary set names the categories, tools, and roles used when diagnosing and correcting errors in an extended Yorùbá text.
| Yorùbá | English | Register / note |
|---|---|---|
| àṣìṣe | error, mistake | neutral; general term used before a category is specified |
| irú àṣìṣe | error category, type of mistake | technical; names the matrix-category diagnosis this chapter targets |
| àyẹ̀wò ọ̀rọ̀ | text review, quality check | technical; the overall diagnostic process |
| ẹnu ìwòye | reviewer, proofreader (lit. "eye of oversight") | technical; names the feedback-giving role |
| àkíyèsí àtúnṣe | revision comment, editorial note | technical; a specific, categorized piece of feedback |
| ìdí ìlò-ọ̀rọ̀ | the grammatical reason, the rule behind a form | technical; the explanation attached to a correction |
| àṣàyàn ọ̀nà-kíkọ̀wé | stylistic choice | technical; distinguished carefully from an error |
| ìmúrasílẹ̀ fún ìtẹ̀jáde | publication readiness, readiness for release | formal; names the standard this chapter's final task aims for |
| ìdáhùn sí àkíyèsí | response to feedback | technical; the author's revision after receiving a comment |
| àkọsílẹ̀ àtúnyẹ̀wò | revision log, editing record | technical; a running record of changes made and why |
Naming an issue as an àṣìṣe ohùn (tone error), an àṣìṣe àmì-àyà (dot-under error), or an àṣìṣe gírámà (grammar error) — rather than simply "wrong" — lets a writer fix the actual problem instead of guessing.
Pronunciation Focus — Proofreading Aloud
Chapter 16 established that reading your own draft aloud reveals problems silent reading misses. Reading someone else's draft aloud as a reviewer is even more revealing, because you have no memory of what the writer intended — you can only respond to what is actually on the page. If a sentence's tone contour does not resolve naturally when spoken, or a phrase forces an unnatural pause, that is diagnostic evidence, not a matter of taste.
When proofreading aloud for someone else, read the full sentence once at a natural pace before stopping to mark anything. Marking every hesitation mid-sentence trains you to hear individual words rather than the sentence's overall tone and rhythm, which is what a reader will actually experience.
As in Chapters 15 and 16, tone accuracy is hardest to sustain over a long stretch of speech. When proofreading aloud, listen specifically for places where tone flattens toward the end of a sentence or paragraph — this is often where a writer's own attention had also begun to drift while drafting.
Grammar Focus — Diagnosing Errors by Matrix Category
This section organizes systems consolidated across all five volumes — tone, orthography, particles, pronouns, serialization, focus, syntax, and register — into a shared diagnostic framework for identifying and explaining errors. No new grammar system is introduced.
1. Eight matrix categories for diagnosis
An effective reviewer names the category of a problem before proposing a fix. The eight categories below cover the great majority of issues in an advanced learner's extended writing.
| Category | Covers | Example of the issue |
|---|---|---|
| Ohùn (Tone) | Wrong or missing tone mark changing or obscuring meaning | wrote "owo" where "owó" (money) or "òwò" (trade) was intended |
| Àmì-àyà (Orthography) | Dot-under letters, capitalization, punctuation, spacing | wrote "eko" where "ẹ̀kọ́" (lesson) was intended |
| Particles (TAM) | Wrong or missing tense-aspect-mood particle, or wrong scope | used bare verb where ti (perfective) was needed to show a completed event |
| Pronouns / Reference | Unclear, missing, or inconsistent pronoun reference | a pronoun several sentences from its noun with no restated reference |
| Serialization | Serial verb sequence forced into English-style coordination, or argument-sharing broken | overuse of a connector where a serial verb chain was more natural |
| Focus | Misused or missing ni focus construction, or focus that destabilizes word order | flat declarative used where contrastive focus was the intended meaning |
| Syntax / Word order | Particle, object, or adverbial placed outside its authorized clause position | adverbial phrase inserted between verb and object where it does not belong |
| Register | Formality, audience, or genre mismatch | colloquial expression used inside a formal institutional report |
2. The diagnostic comment: category, rule, fix
A usable revision comment has three parts: it names the category, states the rule or reason briefly, and proposes or requests a specific fix. A comment that only says a sentence is wrong gives the writer nothing to act on.
3. Error versus stylistic choice
Not every unusual sentence is an error. A grammatically correct sentence written in an unexpected style, register, or word order may reflect a deliberate choice rather than a mistake. A reviewer must distinguish a genuine rule violation, which requires correction, from a stylistic weakness, which may only need a suggestion, from a stylistic choice, which may need no comment at all.
- "Owó ni a nílò, kì í ṣe àwáwí" — fronting "owó" with "ni" for contrastive focus is a deliberate rhetorical choice, not an error, if the writer intends emphasis. "It's money we need, not excuses" — focus construction used for rhetorical effect. correct focus construction; a stylistic choice, not an error
When uncertain whether something is an error or a choice, a reviewer should ask the writer what meaning was intended, rather than assuming a rule violation.
4. Applying the extended four-pass procedure to another writer's text
The Chapter 3 four-pass procedure — tone, dot-under spelling, grammar, and overall clarity — extended in Chapter 16 to whole-document organization, now becomes a shared tool a reviewer applies to someone else's draft, pass by pass, marking each issue with a category before moving to the next pass.
5. Responding to feedback by revising
Receiving a diagnostic comment is only useful if it leads to a specific revision. An author's response should state what was changed and, where relevant, why the original was written that way, rather than only thanking the reviewer.
- Mo yí "kò rí i" padà sí "kò rí í" gẹ́gẹ́ bí o ṣe dámọ̀ràn, nítorí pé mo fẹ́ sọ pé kò rí ohun kan pàtó, kì í ṣe pé kò rí lápapọ̀. I changed "kò rí i" to "kò rí í" as you suggested, because I meant that he didn't see a specific thing, not that he couldn't see at all. response names the change made and the intended meaning behind the original choice
Model Dialogue — Peer Feedback on a Draft
Context: Fúnmi reviews a newsletter submission drafted by another community member, Tọ́pẹ́, and gives him feedback in person.
Guided Practice
Complete these tasks using only systems consolidated through Chapter 16, applied to error diagnosis.
- Given a short sentence with a missing tone mark, name the category, state the rule, and propose the fix using the three-part comment pattern.
- Given a paragraph with an unclear pronoun reference, identify the sentence where the reference breaks down and propose a specific fix.
- Given two sentences joined awkwardly with an explicit connector, rewrite them using a serial verb construction where appropriate, and explain why the serial form is more natural.
- Given one sentence written in a colloquial register inside a formal paragraph, identify the register mismatch and propose a formal alternative.
- Identify one sentence that is unusual in structure but not actually an error, and explain why it should be left as a stylistic choice.
Listening Practice
Ask an instructor, study partner, or qualified Yorùbá speaker to read the passage below aloud, or read it aloud yourself and cover the text before answering.
Listening script. Machine text-to-speech must be checked by a qualified Yorùbá speaker before use as a pronunciation model.
Nígbà tí Fúnmi parí kíkà àkọsílẹ̀ Tọ́pẹ́ ní ìgbà kẹrin, ó ti ṣàkọsílẹ̀ irú àṣìṣe mẹ́ta: àṣìṣe ohùn méjì, àṣìṣe ìtọ́kasí kan, àti àṣàyàn ọ̀nà-kíkọ̀wé kan tí kò nílò àtúnṣe rárá. Fún ìsọ̀rí ọ̀rọ̀ kọ̀ọ̀kan, ó kọ àkíyèsí kan tí ó ní apá mẹ́ta: irú àṣìṣe náà, ìdí gírámà rẹ̀, àti àbá àtúnṣe pàtó kan. Nígbà tí ó fi àkíyèsí wọ̀nyí hàn fún Tọ́pẹ́, ó rí i pé Tọ́pẹ́ yára gbà á, ó sì tún àwọn gbólóhùn mẹ́ta ṣe ní ọ̀sán ọjọ́ kan náà. Fúnmi sì rántí láti ka àkọsílẹ̀ tuntun rẹ̀ sókè fún ara rẹ̀ kí ó tó dá a padà fún Tọ́pẹ́, kí ó rí i dájú pé ohùn àti ìró rẹ̀ ṣì dára.
1. How many error categories did Fúnmi identify in Tọ́pẹ́'s draft, and what were they?
2. What three parts did each of Fúnmi's comments contain?
3. What did Fúnmi do before returning the revised draft to Tọ́pẹ́?
Iṣẹ́ rẹ — Your task: Answer all three questions in complete, fully tone-marked Yorùbá sentences.
Speaking Practice
Tier 1 — Category-Naming Drill
Given a short list of sentences containing single errors, say aloud which of the eight matrix categories each error belongs to before proposing any fix.
Tier 2 — Oral Peer Feedback
Working from a partner's short paragraph (or a paragraph you have drafted previously), deliver three diagnostic comments aloud using the category–rule–fix pattern, then listen to your partner's response and revision plan.
Tier 3 — Full Proofreading Read-Aloud
Read a complete text — your own from Chapter 16 or a partner's — aloud from beginning to end as a final quality-control pass, marking any place where the tone, phrasing, or paragraph connection sounds unclear, before finalizing the text for the Practical Performance Task.
Reading Practice
Àkọsílẹ̀ Tọ́pẹ́ Kí Àtúnṣe Tó Dé — Draft Before Revision
Ìgbìmọ̀ àdúgbò ti pinnu pé a gbọ́dọ̀ tún gbọ̀ngàn wa ṣe, torí pé owo ti dín kù. Wọ́n sọ pé a gbọdọ dúró de oṣù kan síi kí a tó mọ iye owó tí a ó ní gan-an. Bí ó tilẹ̀ jẹ́ bẹ́ẹ̀, a ò gbọ́dọ̀ jẹ́ kí èyí dá wa lẹ́kun láti tẹ̀síwájú pẹ̀lú ìpèsè àwọn ohun èlò mìíràn.
1. Find the word missing a tone mark that changes its meaning, state which matrix category the error belongs to, and propose the correct form.
2. Find the word missing a dot-under letter, name the category, and propose the correction.
3. Identify the pronoun in the final sentence and explain whether its reference is clear or requires a fix, giving your reasoning.
Iṣẹ́ rẹ — Your task: Write your three diagnostic comments using the category–rule–fix pattern, then produce a fully corrected version of the passage.
Writing Workshop
Exchange a completed long-form text with a partner (or work with your own Chapter 16 draft after a delay) and produce a full editing pass using the matrix-category framework from this chapter.
- Select a completed multi-paragraph text: your own from Chapter 16, or a partner's draft.
- Complete Pass 1 (tone) and list every issue found, tagged by category.
- Complete Pass 2 (dot-under orthography and Unicode accuracy) and list every issue found.
- Complete Pass 3 (particles, pronouns, serialization, focus, and syntax) and list every issue found.
- Complete Pass 4 (organization, coherence, and register) and list every issue found.
- Write a three-part diagnostic comment (category, rule, fix) for at least six issues across the four passes.
- If working with a partner, exchange comments and revise your own text in response to the comments you receive.
- Keep a short revision log noting what was changed in response to each comment.
- Read the finished, corrected text aloud as a final check before considering it publication-ready.
- Every issue found is tagged with one of the eight matrix categories.
- Every comment states the rule, not only the correction.
- At least one genuine stylistic choice is identified and left uncorrected, with reasoning given.
- The revision log records what changed and why for each comment addressed.
- The final text has been read aloud as a last quality-control step.
Culture and Communication
Community newsletters, congregation bulletins, school publications, and organizational reports in many Yorùbá-speaking contexts are commonly reviewed by a trusted member before circulation, often someone respected for careful language use rather than someone holding a formal editorial title. This informal editorial role carries real responsibility: a reviewer's comments shape how the community receives written information, so care and specificity in feedback are valued alongside honesty.
Consistent with the digital and dialect variation discussed in Chapters 3 and 12, some casual or quickly circulated community writing reduces tone marks and dot-under letters, while formal publications typically restore full diacritics before release. When proofreading, confirm which standard the specific publication expects rather than assuming one fixed rule applies everywhere.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Error: Writing a comment such as "this sentence is awkward" without specifying whether the issue is tone, orthography, grammar, reference, or register.
Correction: Use the three-part comment pattern from the Grammar Focus: name the category, state the rule, and propose a specific fix.
Error: Correcting a deliberate focus construction, expressive form, or stylistic word order as though it were a grammatical mistake.
Correction: Ask what meaning the writer intended before assuming a rule violation, and leave genuine stylistic choices uncorrected, as modeled in the Grammar Focus.
Error: Replacing an entire sentence with the reviewer's own preferred wording rather than pointing to the specific problem.
Correction: Identify the specific error and propose a targeted fix, leaving the author's remaining wording and ideas intact wherever they are not the source of the problem.
Chapter Summary
This chapter introduced no new tense, aspect, particle, or clause system. It organized tone, orthography, particle, pronoun, serialization, focus, syntax, and register systems consolidated across the volume into eight diagnostic categories, and applied the Chapter 3 four-pass proofreading procedure — already extended to whole documents in Chapter 16 — as a shared tool for reviewing another writer's text. Learners practiced naming error categories, stating the grammatical rule behind a correction, proposing specific fixes, distinguishing genuine errors from stylistic choices, and revising their own writing in response to feedback.
Chapter Review
1. List the eight matrix categories used for error diagnosis in this chapter and give a brief example of each.
2. Explain the three parts of a diagnostic comment and why all three are necessary.
3. Explain the difference between a grammatical error and a stylistic choice, and how a reviewer can tell them apart.
4. Describe how the four-pass proofreading procedure applies to reviewing someone else's text.
5. Explain what an author should do after receiving a diagnostic comment, beyond simply acknowledging it.
Practical Performance Task
Iṣẹ́ àṣepé — Abala 17
Àyẹ̀wò Ọ̀rọ̀ Gíga — Advanced Editing Portfolio
Assemble a complete editing portfolio containing the following components.
Component 1 — Diagnostic Comment Set
- A complete four-pass review of a partner's text (or a delayed self-review of your own Chapter 16 draft), with at least six comments using the category–rule–fix pattern and a short revision log.
Component 2 — Revised Text and Read-Aloud Recording
- The fully corrected text meeting the revision-checklist requirements, plus a recording of the finished text read aloud as the final quality-control step.
This portfolio builds directly on the long-form writing and revision skills from Chapter 16 and will feed directly into the domain-specific communication package assembled in Chapter 18.
Answer Key
Listening Practice
- Fúnmi identified three items: two tone errors and one reference error, plus one stylistic choice that needed no correction.
- Each comment contained the error category, the grammatical reason, and a specific proposed fix.
- Before returning the draft, Fúnmi read her revised comments — and Tọ́pẹ́'s corrected text — aloud to herself to confirm the tone and rhythm were correct.
Reading Practice
- The word "owo" is missing its tone mark; this is a tone-category error. Because the context concerns finances, the correct form is "owó" (money).
- The word "gbọdọ" is missing its dot-under letter and tone mark; this is an orthography-category error. The correct form is "gbọ́dọ̀" (must).
- The pronoun in the final sentence refers back to the community's plan discussed earlier in the passage; because only one plan has been mentioned and no competing referent has been introduced, the reference is clear and requires no fix.
Writing Workshop and Performance Task
Sample responses are not provided in full, since content will vary by the specific text under review. Confirm your work against the revision checklist above, checking specifically that every issue is tagged by category, that every comment states a rule, and that at least one stylistic choice was correctly identified and left unmarked.
Independent Study Tools
Fún akẹ́kọ̀ọ́ tí ń kọ́ ẹ̀kọ́ fúnra rẹ̀ — For the independent learner
- Set aside one of your own earlier chapter writing tasks for at least a week, then review it cold using the four-pass procedure and the eight matrix categories, as if it were someone else's text.
- Practice writing three-part diagnostic comments for errors you notice in your own everyday messages or notes.
- If working with a study partner, exchange short texts regularly and give each other category-tagged feedback rather than general impressions.
- Keep your revision logs; they will help you notice which error categories recur most often in your own writing.
Looking Ahead
Ohun tí o lè ṣe báyìí — What you can do now
You can diagnose an error in a Yorùbá text by matrix category, explain the rule behind a required correction, distinguish a genuine error from a stylistic choice, apply the four-pass proofreading procedure to someone else's writing, give category-tagged feedback that leaves the author's ideas intact, revise your own writing in response to comments, and read a text aloud as a final quality-control step before treating it as publication-ready.